Update

I am sure most of you have been following on Facebook, but I would like to officially announce and update you on the birth of my sweet little boy. Gabriel (God is my strength) Michael (Who is like God?) born November 11, 2011. (11/11/11!) He weighs 8 lb and 7 oz and is 23 inches long. He is definetly the cutest thing I have ever seen, with dark blue eyes and good bit of dark brown hair. He is so handsome!

Labor was long, 24 hours, but it was also the most amazing experience. I felt God's hand on Josh and I through the entire progress. I know there's we're a lot of people lifting us up in prayer and I could feel the covering of the Lord. Like most things in life, things never go quite you like you plan. Ivembeen thinking and dreaming about those first few moments and days with my son for 9 months. It didn't quite go like I had planned. Here's an update on the events of our lives over the last few days...

Gabe: Upon arrival, Gabe was having some trouble breathing. At first it was no big deal, seemed to be pretty standard for him to have trouble catching his breath. After several minutes of labored breathing they called the house pediatrician to take a look at him. She wasn't initially concerned, but after awhile of the same labored breathing she ordered X-rays of his chest. X-rays revealed what is called a Spontaneous Pneumo thorax ( a pocket of air between the lung and membrane wall) or collapsed lung. Gabe had two. Apparently this occurs in 2-5% of babies and usually corrects itself with no therapy. She consulted with a Dr at St. Louis Children's Hospital and was advised to send him to the NICU there. One of the pockets of air in Gabes lung was large enough they used a small needle to remove the air to prevent it from expanding and causing any pressure. After running some more test they also discovered that his white blood cell count was high. Over the next few days, all of Gabes X-rays and test came back great. Due to the initial results of the blood test though they have decided to keep him at Children's until Thursday. They want him to finish up his antibiotics just to make sure he doesn't end up back at the hospital. I absolutely appreciate the caution of the Doctors and as a parent definetly want to use wisdom...but I do know that Jesus healed my little boy. It's just kinda hard to explain that to a doctor.

Josh: Is amazing! I didn't think it was to fall deeper in love with my high school sweetheart..but I did this weekend. He was so incredibly supportive. He never left my side through the whole long process. He must have told me how awesome I was doing 25,000 times. And even though I didn't always feel so awesome, having him believing in me and cheering me on made all the difference. Seriously, the guy that can still call you princess and beautiful when your in the worst pain of your life, throwing up, and experiencing all the other glamorous aspect of labor is...a liar, and totally worth marrying and keeping forever. :) I got to meet a new side of Josh this week, the part of him that is now a Daddy. When they took Gabe from me , to a hospital almost an hour away, I was beyond devastated. I had such reassurance in knowing that Gabe went with the presence of God and with his Daddy riding right beside him in the back of the ambulance. Josh was going on 72 hours with 5 hours of sleep, but he never left Gabe. Going through things like this as a couple will either make you or break you. I am so thankful that Josh and I both carry the presence of Jesus Christ, and in moments like these I just grow in love and respect for the man of God that he is. And oh my goodness! Is there anything cuter than a man and a baby? Josh is so smitten its not even funny. I love to watch him fall in love with that smooshy little baby.

Me: Well...needless to say the last several days have been emotional. Never in a million years did I imagine that I would spend the first day of my baby's life almost an hour away from him. I was seriously devastated. I knew Gabe would be ok. I kept saying, "I know my God, and I know he is a healer." The real struggle was just not getting to connect with my son. I got to hold him for about 15 min before he left. which I was very thankful for...but of course it was not nearly enough. So since my arrival at Children's Saturday afternoon, Gabe has hardly been put down. I don't think you can spoil anyone with love...so we seize every cuddling opportunity possible. He is just so good at snuggling...oh I could just eat him!! I just love being the momma of Gabriel. Words just can't express how in love I am with this beautiful, sweet, screaming, bright eyed, squishy boy. I speed shower and rush through eating so I can get back to him. As hard as this week has been...probably the hardest I've ever had to go through...I know God is our author and finisher, and he is so faithful. Without realizing what i was singing, i realized this morning I was singing the line, "You are faithful, from generation to generation.." God has never failed us and he continues by showing such faithfulness to Gabriel. Josh and I had the opportunity today to pray with three people who had babies in the NICU. One has been here for over 7 months. I know so many of you have been keeping Gabe in your prayers this week. Words can't express our gratitude. We've been so blessed by all the text, messages, and comments we've received. As you pray for my baby, would you please also take the time to lift up little Christian, Josiah, and Mitchell...all three little boys who have been here entirely too long and need a touch from Jesus. The NICU is such a sad place to be. Thankfully the presence of God goes with us even into the most dismal places. I pray that if for no other reason God used us here this week to show love to a hurting heart. What an honor it is to be chosen and used by God in those moments. So we count it all joy :)

Happy Father's Day!

I want to wish a Happy Father's Day to my awesome Daddy and my amazing Husband. I am so blessed to have the two sweetest, loving men in the world in my life.

Daddy, thank you for all you do. You are an amazing Father. You have always supported and protected your kids. I wouldn't be the woman I am today without your guidance and example as a lover of Christ. I am so excited to see the next chapter of your life unfold as God begins to use you in a new, deeper way. Love you, Beffy

Joshua, I can barely wait to see you be a Daddy. Our kids are going to adore you, just like I do. :) I am so thankful to be married to you and to be allowed the privileged of  raising my kids with you. I know you will teach our baby the path to righteousness and to know what it is to be set apart. Love you with all my heart, Haley

The latest news at the Ortego abode...

Since I posted last....

My belly has grown. My wardrobe pretty much consists of maxi dresses...

We ordered and put together baby's bed...

Well actually Josh put it together...

Louie and I offered moral support...

Louie's not really quite sure what to think about the whole baby thing really.

We started stocking up on diapers...

And...of course there's Monday! The day we find out if our sweet baby is a little girl or a little boy. I can barely wait. Then let the shopping begin! I will be in Baby's R Us on Monday, right after lunch which will be right after the ultrasound. I've just been praying the baby will not be shy. Its the one time he/she has full permission to flaunt their stuff. No modesty please! Josh and I both have a feeling its a boy...but we in no way have a preference. As long as Baby-O is healthy, happy, and serves the Lord all his/her life...as a Mom I want nothing else. Speaking of healthy, baby-o has inherited Daddy's mad soccer skills. As of about two weeks ago, I have been feeling some awesome kicks. It never gets old, I have a goofy smile every time I feel a good one. Josh even got to feel one last night...an early Happy Father's Day from his little one.

So far on this adventure...

12 weeks...I cant believe how quickly the first trimester has gone by. They really do grow up so fast! So far my pregnancy experience has been relatively pleasant. I've only actually gotten sick a handful of times. Mainly my symptoms have been nausea and exhaustion. Being tired takes on a whole new meaning when your pregnant. Overall though I really feel completely blessed and thankful. A lot of my friends were sick every morning during their first trimester. That's just not something I have had to deal with. The whole pregnancy process has been very...surreal. Maybe surreal with a hint of denial. Even though we've been praying for this little life for awhile, I don't know that it has completely hit me that I am having a baby. I've totally got my head around being pregnant. I feel pregnant, I act pregnant, I'm starting to slightly look pregnant....I just don't think it's totally sunk in that pregnancy=baby. It will hit me at odd moments, like when I put my babys R us rewards card on my key chain. Oh my gosh, I have a baby's R us rewards card on my key chain! I had a moment when I saw a little baby at church the other day and when I was looking at a friends pictures of her newborn. I cant believe I am going to have one of those of my own. Half of Josh and half of me. Then of course there was the incredible moment when we saw the ultrasound at 8 weeks. That was such an amazing, tearful, indescribable moment. That little heartbeat was possible the cutest thing I've ever seen. Even though I know it hasn't totally hit me yet, it's the little windows of clarity that make every bit of exhaustion and every nauseous moment absolutely completely worth it....because one day, very soon, there will undeniably be a pink little baby put into my arms. Even in my moments of surreal denial I cannot wait for that day.

Here's a list of what I've learned so far:

1) Apparently the most scientific and efficient way to measure an unborn baby is to compare it to fruit...which I think is histarical. Example: this week (12) our baby is a lime. :)
2) When one is pregnant your purse changes from a device to carry makeup, cell phone, and wallet to a....lunchbox!
3) A week after we found out I was pregnant apparently I was enlisted into some kind of Mommy to be Boot Camp...this is an intense program preparing my body to be a mom....in other words, I wake up every three hours at night.
4) Pregnancy does crazy things to your body...like give you nose bleeds. Really? Nose bleeds?
5) Pregnancy does crazy things to your emotions...I spent a day crying because my puppy, Louie, turned two. They grow up so fast!
6) Pregnancy is contagious....i found out a friend, my moms step sister, and my favorite cousin are all pregnant and due within weeks of me. My mom says we must have all been "twitterpated" (Disney's Bambi reference.)
7) I have the most amazing husband in the world (it didn't really take pregnancy for me to learn that, its just been a great reminder.) He is very supportive of all my food cravings :) and he is going to be an incredible Dad.
8) The baby, affectionately know as "peanut" apparently hates grapes and blackberry cobbler w/ ice-cream.
9) A little tadpole/kumquat/lime/peanut can completely change your life. Having children will never hinder your life, they just enhance the adventure.

Proverbs 7

Proverbs 7

In a picture:

In a word:

Partnering

What I highlighted:

Proverbs 7:4-5
"Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," and call understanding your kinsman; they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words."

Proverbs 7:21-23
"With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life."


What I journaled:

What do we partner with? What aspects of this world do we allow a living place in our life? We see in Proverbs this imagery of the beauty of knowing Wisdom and the folly and death that comes with knowing the world. As followers of Christ we should always be crying out for less of us and more of Him, for the un-honoring parts of our heart to be exposed. God loves the invitation to reveal the areas that distance us from Himself. I've been on this self-exposing journey or heart purification for quite some time. He is so gentle, so loving in how he reveals the areas that need to go. So what have we partnered with? What lie of the enemy have we bought into? What thing has become that idol? Revival starts with hearts of repentance that will yearn for Jesus more than for the things of this world.

My challenge:

As always....letting Him to work on my heart and reveal everything I have placed before Him.

My prayer:

God, bring revival to your church! Bring us to the place of repentance and give us a revelation of your Glory.

Justice for Kirill

Join me in interceding for this precious family...that Jesus would bring this baby home!

Follow their blog:
http://www.oureyesopened.blogspot.com/

Please feel free to share the following on your blogs. It is a summary of our adoption journey so far. Please help us spread the word. We are hoping somehow someone will be able to help us.


Two years ago Greg and I began praying for God to do whatever he wanted with our lives. We handed him a “blank check” so to speak, and told him to cash it. He opened our eyes to children with disabilities wasting away across the ocean in Eastern Europe. We joined God and started our adoption journey.

Our family is more than equipped to handle a child with special needs. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education. I am a member of the Board of Directors of Best Buddies of Alabama. I have volunteered for RISE and Eagles’ Wings. All of these organizations serve individuals with special needs. My husband I have close friends and family who have special needs and we are a big part of each other’s lives. Our wedding party included some of these special people. Our involvement with individuals with special needs led us to adopt a child with special needs; specifically, we chose Down Syndrome.

As we prayed over the faces of thousands of orphaned children with Down Syndrome, we ultimately chose a little boy named Sergey from Russia. Eight months later, as we neared the finish line of our adoption, one of Sergey’s family members in Russia stepped forward to adopt him. We were heartbroken for our loss, but God showed us that we were following him, and his ways are perfect. We knew we still wanted to adopt, so the way we saw it, two children would find homes because of our journey…Sergey went to his family and now we would choose another child to come into our family. We took great comfort in knowing that God could see this when we first committed to Sergey! We were honored to be a part of his plan.

Shortly after losing Sergey, we received a new referral with a grainy photo of a four-year-old blond-haired boy wearing pink glasses named Kirill. We were instantly in love with him. We had to re-file a lot of our paperwork because of the change in referrals and regions of Russia, but we were fast and we thought we were looking at three more months at the most until we would have Kirill home.

That was well over a year ago.

Since then so many things have happened. A tragic story of an adoptive mother sending her child back to his country alone on a plane with a note pinned to his shirt rocked our world…he was from Russia. Adoptions in Russia came to a screeching halt. Kirill’s region stopped processing adoptions for eight long months. The judge refused to accept any Amercian adoption cases until an official treaty was signed between the United States and Russia.

Even though we wouldn’t be able to finalize the adoption in court until the treaty was signed, we were allowed to go visit Kirill and sign our official petition to adopt him in August 2010. We fell more deeply in love with him. This was our son.

During that time, we found out that Kirill is the first child from his region EVER to be adopted with Down Syndrome. A birth mother keeping her child with Down Syndrome is unheard of in this area of the world. Adoptions of children with Down Syndrome just don’t happen there, these children are literally hidden away from society in orphanages and mental institutions. As our process continued, it became apparent that Kirill would be a pioneer. If our adoption was approved, it would pave the way for other children with special needs to be adopted from this region.

Then, a miracle happened around Christmas and the judge in this region suddenly changed her mind and began processing American adoptions again. We were elated.  Could this be the light at the end of a very long tunnel? I was somewhat nervous about Kirill being the first child adopted with Down Syndrome from his region, but our agency was very confident that if we got a court date, our adoption would be approved. In seventeen years, they had never had a case rejected IF the family was issued a court date. We were told not to worry, so I didn’t. After meeting the judge’s requests for several supporting court documents, we were finally granted a court date-March 17, 2011. St. Patrick’s Day…I was thrilled. This would be our new favorite holiday! Our son was coming home!

Our other son, Clayton, who had just turned three when we started this adoption process, has prayed fervently for his brother. He is now almost five. When we told him Kirill was coming home, oh my…we had an excited big brother on our hands! At one point he even went to his room, dumped out his toy cars and divided them into two stacks…one for him and one for Kirill.

Last week, as we sat in the courtroom and suffered through five agonizing hours of difficult questioning, we were not prepared for anything but an approval of our case. Two doctors, two social workers, and the Minister of Children’s Services all made very strong statements on our behalf. They fought for us. Hard.

But when the ruling was read, the judge said, “Your application to adopt is rejected.” The basis given was that Kirill was “not socially adaptable” due to his “medical condition” and he was better off in an institution than in a home with a family. As the judge read her ruling, she stated several times that we were a good family, that we met all the criteria to adopt a child, but that she would not approve our adoption because Kirill has Down Syndrome. She told us that we could adopt another child, because legally our application had no problems according to Russian adoption law. She said she would approve our adoption for a “typical” child, but not this child. Why? The only reason? Because he has Down Syndrome. Even though we were approved by our home study and by the USCIS to adopt a child with special needs. It makes no sense whatsoever. Denying a child a family because he has Down Syndrome is a violation of human rights at its most basic level!

It was like a terrible dream. We were so unprepared for this outcome. As we left the courthouse in a mental fog, the doctors and social workers that had testified came to us and said, “If you appeal, we will fight for you. Appeal. Fight this decision.” Of course we were going to appeal…I could no more walk away from our biological son, Clayton, at this point. Kirill is just as much my son.

So here we are, asking God to move the mountain that is standing between Kirill and us as we appeal to the Supreme Court in Moscow. There are also three other families who are in various stages of adopting children with Down Syndrome from Kirill’s region; one of the families has a court hearing set for next week.


We are hoping that someone will hear our outcry and help us bring our son and these other waiting children home. His adoption will set the precedent for many other children in his region. There are 98 children in his orphanage with special needs alone. It is one of many orphanages in this region that houses children with special needs. This is about more than just one child, the lives of hundreds of children with special need are at stake.  Please help us.

Proverbs 6

So..I have definetly gotten a tad behind. But it is what is...lifes not always condusive to a deadline. Behind or not, were going keep moving forward. Heres 6... :)

In a word:

lamp

In a picture:

                             "...there commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light..."

What I highlighted:

Proverbs 6:20-23

"My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life..."

What I journaled:

I don't follow the news very regularly. Sometimes it's probably a good thing, but I probably should try to be a little more aware of what's going on in the world around me...if for no other reason than to know how to pray. However, it doesn't take my tv constantly tuned into Fox News to know that things are changing. The world is being positioned for the coming of the last days. I know that I know that I will see a drastic change in our culture over the next few years. The atmosphere is changing. Persecution is coming. We don't need to fear this change, in fact we should rejoice, even ask for it. It all means one thing, Jesus is coming, and he's coming soon. I don't pretend to know the time frame of His return, but I want to live like its in my lifetime. If its not in mine, I feel pretty confident it will be in my children's. I write all this to say, God's really been convicting me about the amount of scripture that I have hidden in my heart. I've been saved for a long time, so I can reference a lot of scripture but I can't just rattle off chapters of God's word much less remember references. God's very practically been reminding me that there will be a day when I might not enjoy the privilege of accessing my burgundy, leather New King James, or my biblegateway app on my IPad. How important will it be in the last days to cling to the words of God...To dwell on the promises of His coming, His provision,and our salvation. There will be a day where were going to have to depend on the scripture we've committed to memory. There will be dark days in the future, but God emphasis over and over in scripture how His word is a light, a lamp to our feet. The word will need our light. How bright is the lamp in your heart? I know this isn't super insightful but I just felt like I needed to remind myself as well as others to be hiding the word of God in our hearts...because the hour is near.

My challenge:

to commit to the memorization of the word of God.

My prayer:

That God would help me to memorize. I struggle with retaining information sometimes...in one ear and out the other. But..I can do all thing through Christ. It's obvious this is important to His heart so I do not doubt he will equip me with some memorization skills. :)

Proverbs 5

In a picture:

In a word:

trust

What I hilighted:

Proverbs 5:1-6
" 1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom,
   turn your ear to my words of insight,
2 that you may maintain discretion
   and your lips may preserve knowledge.
3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey,
   and her speech is smoother than oil;
4 but in the end she is bitter as gall,
   sharp as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
   her steps lead straight to the grave.
6 She gives no thought to the way of life;
   her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it."

Proverbs 5:21
" For your ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all your paths."

What I journaled:

We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Sometimes the sins are more obvious, or blatant than others (stealing, lust, gossip, etc.) We must keep in mind that sin is anything that keeps us from growing in relationship with Jesus. So I'm going to skip over discussing the more "obvious" sins, and instead talk about the seducing sin of the comfort zone. We've all been in this zone. We've all bought into the lie of it's safety and comfort. We've thought if we stayed there we could avoid the hurt, rejection, failure, etc that lurked outside the zone. Unfortunately just like any other sin, you may be able to avoid the consequences for awhile, thinking it will worth it. In the end you we will always pay a price. For those who spend their life in their in the sin of the comfort zone, they usually wake up one day realizing they never fulfilled God's purpose. I think that Proverbs five is not just literally a warning against the provocative woman and adultry, but is also a warning against the seductiveness of sin in general. If we give an ear to sin it will try to seduce us into a lifestyle of bondage. Throughout my life I can think of several "comfort zones" that I tried to camp out in. But out of my God's loving kindness he has pulled me out several times. Sometimes I came more willingly than others. Everythime I have chosen to TRUST him and step out past my expectations of myself...God has overwhelmed me with a new level of himself and I have felt such growth in Him. The key really is trust, because in relying solely on the safety of your comfort zone your putting no trust in God. He has a unique adventure and purpose for your life all for His glory, and until were willing to trust him with everything, we will gain nothing.

Galatians 5:24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.

My challenge:

To trust God fully with all my insecurities and comfort zones so I can grow in the fullness of everything He has for me.

My prayer:

That He would expose all areas that I have not surrendered.

In a picture:

In a word:

heart

What I hilighted:

Proverbs 4:20-27

"My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."

What I journaled:

I love this portion of scripture. I can never be reminded enough of the importance of constantly evaluating the state of my heart. The more you look at and know your heart the more sensative you will be to what is in it. I think as a human its so easy to buy into the lie of a " bad day" or a "bad mood." The more I examine my heart the more my response to a bad mood should be an awareness of a heart issue. It says here that your heart is the wellspring of life, scripture also says that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speak. God is after our heart, and he want a pure one.

My challenge:

To be in constant dialogue with God about the state of my heart.

My prayer:

That there would be nothing between me and more of God...and that he would make me so sensitive to what's in my heart. I don't want anything to keep me from Him.

Proverbs 3

In a picture:

In a word:

conviction

What I hilighted:

Proverbs 3:11-12
"My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

What I journaled:

I love love Proverbs 3...so it was tough to just pick a couple verses to discuss. I opted to go with verses 11 and 12 since they enforce a theme Jesus has been talking to me about lately. Conviction versus condemnation. The battle with condemnation is something I have had to be aware of in my life. I'm sure it stems from being somewhat of a perfectionist...but regardless condemnation is satan's counterfeit to God's conviction. Condemnation will only keep you from the Presence of God while conviction pushes you closer in relationship with the Father. I think sometimes we struggle with discerning what is condemnation and what is conviction...Take it to the word. It says in verse 12 that he disciplines because he loves. Conviction comes with a desire to be closer to the heart of Jesus, to live a righteous and holy life in His presence. Condemnation will always do the opposite of the word of God. Satan hates us and wants to remove us out of relationship wth God. Condemnation stirs up feelings of self hatred, pity, depression, yuckiness, etc. we must learn to reject condemnation and embrace cinviction. Its all about relationship and love. Jesus is a passionate lover and he desires our hearts and will convict us so that nothing will stand in the way of him and His Bride.

My challenge:

To know the difference, attack condemnation and ask for conviction...

My prayer:

That God would reveal in me anything that needs to go. Nothing is worth not growing closer to Jesus. I just want more of Him whatever the cost.

Philippians 3:8
" What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"

Proverbs 2

In a picture:

In a word:

search

What I highlighted:

Proverbs 2:1-8
  "My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protecrts the way of his faithful ones."

What I journaled:

As I read this passage, I am reminded that we obtain as much of God as we want, we find as much as we search for. His word promises right here that if we search as if we were after hidden treasure, we will find the Lord and the knowledge of God. We must fight diligiently to resist the evil one, and persevere for the glory and presence of God. James 1: 2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Then following that in verses 5-6 it says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all you without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." I find it interesting aswell as significant that James challenges them to perseverance and in the next sentence is telling them to ask for wisdom. This fits right along with Proverbs 2, we must persevere in our seeking of wisdom. He says in verse 6, if we ask one minute and doubt the next we are like a wave tossed in the wind. We must persevere through doubt and trial and press in and seek the Lord. How much do we desire Him and His presence in our lives? We get what we persevere for....

per-se-vere
     1. to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.

My challenge: to peresevere so that I may pursue and search out the heart of God...

My prayer: That God would grant His bride, the church, the heart to persevere through all trial and tribulation of the last days so that they may have the wisdom of God and be filled with the knowledge of Him. Come Jesus come. We miss you...

Proverbs 1

Proverbs 1

In a picture:

In a word:

Listen

What I highlighted:

Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."

Proverbs 1:20-23
"Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateways of the city she makes her speech: 'How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you.'"

What I journaled:

Wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord. So to seek wisdom, we need to first begin with seeking the fear of the Lord. My first thought regarding how to fear the Lord is reverencing holiness. I fear how holy my God is. Not in the sense that I want to get away from it but that it calls me to holiness. I reverence it, i don't take it lightly. My heart must be holy and purified if I am to stand in the holies of holies before the holiest one.
I think that we often confuse wisdom with knowledge. 1 Kings 10:24 says, "The whole world sought audience with Solomon to hear the wisdom God had put in his heart." The wisdom of God was not in his head but in his heart. In order to live in true wisdom we must operate out of the fear of the Lord and by LISTENING to the voice of the Spirit. It's not a head thing, it's a heart thing.

My Challenge:

To understand more what it means to live a life fearing the Lord.

My prayer:

That the He would shake my heart with the fear of the Lord and make me more desperate for holiness and purity...and that I would grow to be able to hear his beautiful voice more clearly. I never want to be found too busy with life and my own ambition that I miss the call of the Lord.

Proverbs Journal

I have decided to start a project...This will be a daily blog journey thrugh Proverbs. A chapter a day, for the next 31 days. I am doing this for several reasons. 1) I thought it would be a fun and different way to study the word. 2) it will hopefully keep me accountable to write daily. Feel free to join me.

So here it goes...

Preparing the Bride

Over our Christmas vacation I had the amazing privilege and and joy of being in my best friend, Lindsay Thomas' (now Lindsay Underhill) wedding. The wedding was beautiful, the bride was excuisite, and the groom was glowing. I was so honored to be apart of celebrating their union as man and wife. For those who have been a bridesmaid, or groomsmen you'll understand the pressure I felt to make sure that everything was perfect for this girl I loved so much. Lindsay's story is an amazing one, and those of you who know her know how much she deserves happiness. More than anything else, I wanted her and Matt's day to be a dream come true.

Friday and Saturday were insanely busy with wedding preparation. For the 48 hours before the wedding, I thought of little else that let's get this girl married! Her amazing sister, wonderful cousin, and myself stayed up until 5 am Saturday morning working on last minute wedding details and after a restful nights sleep, woke up at 6:20 am. The morning consisted of a blur of red dresses, many trips back and forth from the cars, hazardously hot curling irons, boppy pins, and enough hair spray to create a small hole in the ozone layer above the Thomas' house. It was beautiful chaos. We were bustling around, bumping into each other, feeling crazy but all for one purpose...The wedding! Everything detail was executed beautifully. Lindsay walked down the aisle as a bride and walked away as a married woman on the arm of her wonderful husband. And as I'm sitting here reflecting on the events of the weekend, the beautiful bride and the wedding day, God is showing me the similarity to the mandate of ministering to His bride, the church.

I only enjoyed one hour of sleep working hard on last minute details not because Lindsay was demanding it or because I felt obligated. We did it because we love Lindsay, absolutely adore her. We did it because she needed to get married the next day to her groom. I would have done anything for her wedding day. Jesus asked me, "would you do anything for my bride? Would you loose anything for her? Would you loose sleep so that my bride can have her wedding day with her bridegroom?"

I pray God gives the same love and diligence for his bride as I felt for my best friend. I want to live to see the world know Jesus. He's coming quickly for His bride in white. Will she be ready? Will you help make her ready?